DrRelationships.com

Do you know anyone who is divorced/separated? Perhaps you have been - or you are headed there soon yourself.

Know anyone who is married – but not very ‘happily’? Know folks who are married and who are doing the ‘little-on-the-side’ deal – the affair – the ‘one-nighters’.

The answer is: unless you live in a cave by yourself isolated from the outside world – you know lots of folks that fit the above – friends – maybe your parents – kids – coworkers – relatives – perhaps you.

So what’s going on here? And incidentally today, ‘here’ is virtually everywhere on the planet.

Many think that two embedded assumptions in our cultures are causing the turmoil in families and children’s lives as partners change their partners.

(1) people make the assumption that the feelings – sensations and trappings that we associate with ‘romance’ are synonymous with ‘love’. They’re not. Trace brain chemicals involuntarily produce the sensations of ‘Romance’. Unfortunately for ‘romance’ seekers, the flow of the specific ‘brain chemicals’ for a specific person – are not ‘till happily ever after’. They expire along with the ‘romance’.

(2) ever since the advent of the so-called ‘Romantic Ideal’ – circa 1200 AD – partners have been expected to possess – to own one another – their hearts – spirits – minds – but most especially – own each other’s bodies – their sensuality. Sensual activities – or even the thoughts of sensual activities - are prohibited with more than just one partner for an entire lifetime. You are ‘permitted’ to have sensual activities with Partners ‘serially’ - but not ‘simultaneously’. As most are aware – that the approach of ‘one and only for an entire lifetime’ doesn’t seem to be working very well these days.

So until we can change both assumptions – and institute different expected environments for intended long-term stable relationships – it’s likely we’ll have more relationships ending in the short-term – more broken families – more single parent headed households – more latch-key kids - more instability in peoples lives.

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This entry was posted on Friday, January 4th, 2008 at 9:08 pm and is filed under Doomed To Be Falling IN and OUT of Love. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.